Face to giant face with the 2014 Mercedes-Benz S-Class

Mercedes-Benz isn't a brand afraid to put on a show for any old reason at all – like, just because it's Tuesday – but the premiere of the 2014 S-Class, even by the standards we're used to, was Broadway-theater intense. Held at a purpose-built venue inside a hanger at the Airbus factory in Hamburg, the hours-long extravaganza was hosted by two German newscasters and guest-starred Alicia Keyes, an A380, fireworks, every model in the lineup in a choreographed driving routine while The Stig did donuts in an SLS AMG in the rain, and at the very end, burlesque. That's how much the S-Class means to this brand.

What's it going to mean to the razor's edge of the mass-market large luxury sedan market? The exterior, that's ripe for debate. But the interior – well, it just hung a sign on the segment that read, "Achtung! This,meine Damen und Herren, is how it's done."

Truth be told, we were concerned about meeting the latest conveyance of kings. We couldn't get a handle on its proportions in the photos – the homogenized face gave us pause, and the sloping rear end had us genuinely concerned that this was about to get ugly.

Turns out the car is fine. Some other introductions of late have had us worried that Mercedes is designing cars like it knows people will buy them no matter what, even if they're unattractive (SL anyone?). And they're right - the new SL will not have a problem finding new owners to please, and it is a terrific car for its class, but to our eyes the current convertible is an aesthetic step sideways and down compared to the last one. And those headlight eyebrows that are going on everything, well, let's just not get into that.

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